Countdown [Review by SpecialK]

Well it’s official—pumpkins have been plucked by flannel-clad couples, farmers’ markets are full of mini-supermen getting pushed in strollers, and pet owners are squeezing their pups into costumes as offerings to the Insta gods—and you know what that means: our favorite horrorific holiday is just around the corner. And what better way to celebrate Halloween than to catch a horror flick in the theater, right? Well, although the film’s title invokes a promising 3-2-1 gourd drop at midnight on October 31, Countdown unfortunately falls well short of making this horrorista’s list of top scary movies to catch this season.

Countdown introduces us to young Quinn, who is striving to become a registered nurse, but as a female protagonist in any film shot after 2017, she’s also of course navigating the numerous #metoo obstacles thrown in her way by the patriarchy, I mean, hierarchical hospital system. Couple that with an estranged relationship with her dad and younger sister, and Quinn already has enough challenges to face when she also ends up downloading an app that tells her she’s going to meet her maker in just a few short days. Will Quinn break the code before breaking her neck? Will enough secondary characters be introduced with randomly perfect skillsets to help her figure it out? Will she ever reveal the secret to her blonde waves that inevitably fall into place as carefully-coiffed ringlets at any hour, day or night?

Of course, dear readers, here is where I must leave the big questions unanswered. But in the words of Stefon, in some ways this film’s got it all – demons, ghosts, jump scares, intellectual priests, sassy IT guys, and even a few fork-on-a-plate moments. What’s that last one you ask? It’s that thing of when you see a scare where a human body does something so unnatural that you wince so hard and shrug your shoulders up to your ears as you turn away from the screen with a squeal, as if you just heard a fork scrape against a plate.

But Stefon would also be the first to tell you that just because a film is released days before Halloween, has mildly decent acting by a pretty protagonist, and boasts a few effective scares and chuckle-worthy jokes, this doesn’t make it a high-quality scary movie. Countdown’s script struggles to find its ultimate path, meandering aimlessly between genres and chasing its plotlines like a cat swatting at a butterfly. The film relies on unoriginal imagery and fails to make much sense where it departs from the usual tropes—I’m not an IT expert but I imagine half of my neighbors here in Silicon Valley could find a few dozen scientific errors and laughable inconsistencies in this one.

And maybe if we are all being honest with ourselves, that just may be what writer/director Justin Dec—heretofore director of a few short films and production assistant of many, many more feature films—was aiming for: check all the boxes and make a quick buck because hell, it’s Halloween and there’s not much competition out there this year. If that’s all you’re after, you’ll get your jump scares and your fix with this one, but for us truer horror fans, you’re better off catching an intelligently raw indie flick like Parasiteor even saving your cash, staying home, and streaming some classic horror instead.

SpecialK Verdict: If you’re desperate to catch a genre box-checker in the theater this year, you could see Countdown, but you’re much better off staying in and cozying up with one of these beauts instead.

Countdown opened in select theaters nationwide on Friday, October 25.

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